If you’re reading this post, flip to page 173 of your copy
of Alexie’s The Absolutely True Diary of
a Part-Time Indian. If your copy is different to mine, along with its page
numbers being different, than here’s the quote anyway:
“I had cursed my family. I had left the tribe, and had
broken something inside all of us, and I was now being punished for that.”
You might be wondering why I chose this quote in the first
place and what it has to do with my training to be a public school teacher. The
thing is: I’m not quite sure myself. However, the quote caught my attention for
a reason, and so I’ll explore that reason here.
I can honestly admit that I have no idea if being a teacher
will work out for me. All I know is that I won’t know what it’s like until I
experience it, and I’m afraid that such an experience will crush me in a way
that I can’t come back from. After reading all that, you might think to
yourself: ‘geez Angela, just find something else you want to do and then work
towards getting a job in it.’ That thought would be very logical, along with
being easier said than done. Teaching, or the thought of teaching in a future
that’ll be swiftly arriving, is beginning to constrict around my life, and yet
I’m not sure where else I’ll be able to go if I crash and burn.
Education has been my go-to for awhile now, ever since I was
preteen. I looked to my dad’s experience as a public school teacher and to the
English Language Arts to help settle me with my more turbulent thoughts and
feelings, and it feels as though a Tribe of Education has been slowly building
around me for a long time. Do I have it in me to leave that tribe if I one day
realize it might be the best thing for me personally? Even thinking that
question feels like a twinge of betrayal.
- Angela H.
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